Sharing Can Be A Maine Pain
by actionman81
Summary: Can the Holograms and Misfits share a dressing room without killing each other?


Sharing Can Be a Maine Pain

"Hurry up Rio" Kimber sighed

"I've only got two hands" Rio pushed open the door with his shoulder, since his arms were full with parts of Kimber's keyboard

"Relax Kimber" we've got time before the benefit concert" Shana tried to be the voice of reason

"Yeah, besides, there's so much to do in Portland" Aja picked up one of the brochures from the dressing room table, "See, there's -" she paused a moment as she read from the pamphlet, "Portland Head Light in Cape Elizabeth"

"Who wants to see some boring old lighthouse?"

"If it wasn't made recently, I don't think Kimber's going to be interested" Raya put down her drumsticks and sat on the couch next to Aja

"Whatever you do, don't worry about helping me out" Rio was sarcastic

"Sorry Rio" Aja stood up and extended her hand, "need some assistance?"

"It's ok" he grunted, "almost done here" he finished assembling Kimber's keyboard

"But Rio, doesn't this have to go out on the stage?" Kimber put on an innocent face

Rio growled and dragged the assembled keyboard out of the room

"What's with him?" Kimber shrugged

"He's just mad because Jerrica had to finish some paperwork at the hotel"

"And Jem had some last minute shopping to do" Raya added

"How much you want to bet that none of it gets done?" Shana quipped

All the girls had a laugh about that

Their laughter was abruptly cut short when the door banged open. The girls looked up, but it wasn't Rio.

Or Jem

Or even Jerrica

"You can start the party now, the Misfits are here" Pizzazz bellowed

"What are you doing here?" Kimber stood up

"Didn't you read the fine print?" Eric Ramond appeared from behind Pizzazz, "Not only are the Misfits also playing at this ugh" Eric scoffed, "benefit concert, but due to budget constraints, we have to share the backstage dressing room as well our onstage presence"

"You never told me about this" Pizzazz turned on Eric

"Because I knew how you'd react" he countered, "now excuse me, I'm sure you girls have lots to talk about" he exited the room

"How are we going to tell Jem?" Raya wondered aloud

Shana looked around. There was no telephone

"Maybe you need one of these?" Pizzazz fished something small and black out of her purse

"What is that?" Aja squinted at the device

"Oh, just something that my Daddy bought me" Pizzazz smiled contentedly, "It's a Motorola MicroTAC 9800X"

"It looks like a makeup compact" Kimber smirked

"It's a phone!" Pizzazz snarled, "but I guess you don't want to use it" she slipped it back into her purse

"If we had one of those, we could call Jerrica at the hotel" Raya realized

"Well we don't" Kimber frowned

"We're just going to have to make the most of this" Shana rationalized

Making the most of their situation was easier said than done

"That's my lip gloss!" Shana reached out her hand, but Roxy was already applying it, or rather making a meal out of it

"Mmm, what is this?" Roxy licked the tube the way a cat might remove hair from its body, "tastes good"

"Oy, you must be starved" Jetta cackled

"Back away sister!" Roxy wielded the lip gloss the way one would hold a knife

"Oh what are you going to do?" Jetta waved off the idea of a threat

"How about this?" Roxy lunged at Jetta, but the Britisher stepped aside and Roxy pummeled headlong into the rack of stage costumes

"My jacket!" Kimber wailed, hearing the tearing sound as Roxy struggled with the clothes. She pushed Roxy away and attended to her stage garment, which was now torn, the pink and white striped jacket was torn at the sleeve

"Let's see what we can do to repair this" Shana put aside her own trouble and tried to help out Kimber and fix her jacket

"Look Pizzazz" Aja spoke for everyone, "We're tired of you bossing us around"

Pizzazz, perched on the sole stool, sat like a judge while the rest of the girls stood around the cramped dressing room, "Go on" she eyed herself in her compact mirror, "I'm listening"

"As if you were" Kimber interjected

"We can't have you hogging everything" Aja went on, "if we're going to be stuck here together, we might as well share what we have"

Stormer glanced over to Kimber, "I do like that shade of lipstick you have"

"Do you want to use it?" Kimber held up the tube, "Besides, I'm going to have a different one for the concert"

Raya fished out a white ribbon from her bag, "Perhaps you could use this for your hair?" she offered it to Roxy

"Gee, thanks" Roxy smiled. Before she could accept it, Jetta snatched it away, "Ere, that looks nice" she sneered

"I wonder what will happen when Jem gets here?" Kimber voiced her thoughts

"Oh, who cares about Little Miss Pink Hair" Pizzazz sneered and ran a comb through her jade locks

"We care" Shana stepped up

"What if we gave them a little space?" Stormer offered, "then we could both have some room

"What if you kept quiet" Pizzazz snapped

"Come on girls" Aja picked up a discarded cloth cover for one of the amplifiers and began trying to string it from the ceiling of the dressing room, "if they're going to be so stubborn, the best we can do is make some privacy for ourselves"

"Good plan" Raya picked up one end of the cloth while Shana held the other. Aja stood on a chair and felt the ceiling for something

"What are you looking for?" Raya looked up at Aja's movements

"A joist"

"What's that?" Kimber looked bewildered

"It's a beam that supports the ceiling. Kind of like a stud"

"Like Sean?" Kimber smiled

"Not that kind of stud" Aja shook her head

"How will you know when you've found it?" Shana wanted to know

"It'll – whoa!" Aja lost her footing and the chair toppled over

"Serves your right, ducky" Jetta cackled

"Are you ok?" Stormer, the only Misfit who seemed to care, righted Aja's chair

"Give me that" Pizzazz snatched away the chair, "I needed something to put my feet up on"

"You only think about yourself Pizzazz" Aja frowned

"Haven't you heard lovey?" Jutta interjected, "winning is everything"

"Even when it's something so trivial?" Aja countered

"Where's the fun if not over something trivial" Jetta lashed back

"Look at it this way" Kimber tried to reason with Stormer, "if we put up this curtain, then we'll both be able to do our own thing without getting on each other's nerves, right?"

"I guess so" Stormer pondered the suggestion

"So will you help us?" Kimber held out her hand

"Sure I will" Stormer took Kimber's hand

Aja looked over at Pizzazz and pulled away the chair that held up Pizzazz's feet. "Sorry, we need that"

Pizzazz growled "Uhhhhhh"

Kimber tipped forward the chair that Pizzazz was sitting on, "We need to borrow that too" she smiled

Pizzazz let out one of her world famous screams. Nobody paid any attention to her.

Stormer and Roxy held one end of the cloth while Raya and Kimber held the other. All four ladies stood on the repurposed chairs. Aja and Shana pushed the dressing table over to where Stormer and Roxy stood. Aja climbed on the dressing table and whacked thumbtacks into the stucco ceiling using the heel of her pumps, "That should hold it in for awhile" she smiled at her handiwork

"But how will we share things like makeup?" Stormer wanted to know

"I know!" Kimber came up with a solution, "let's keep all our things at the curtain and we can give and take things as needed"

"So we'll trust each other?" Roxy looked incredulously at the others

"We'll have to" Shana shrugged

The rest of the afternoon was spent in mutual amity as lipstick, eyeshadow and other makeup was passed back and forth between the curtain.

"This reminds me of the Berlin Wall" Kimber quipped

"KImber" Shana shook her head, "The Berlin Wall is keeping people between East and West Germany apart, not bringing them closer together"

"Oh" Kimber felt dejected

A knock at the door made Kimber and everyone else look up. The door opened

"Hi everyone" Jem breezed in, shopping bag in hand, looking flawless as usual, and then stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the scene: the curtain drawn down the center of the room, the Holograms on one side, the Misfits on the other, working in seemingly apparent harmony, passing makeup and other items back and forth.

Pizzazz caught Jem's startled look, "Yeah, we didn't think it would work out either" she shrugged and went back to applying a purple shade of eye shadow to her already heavily made up face

There was another knock on the door, a delivery person stood with a large cardboard shipping box, "Is there someone named Jem here?"

"I'm Jem" she smiled

"Then this is for you" the delivery person handed Jem the package and promptly left the hallway

"It's from Rio" Jem read the box's label

"Oh enough already" Jetta pounced on the package, "I'm sick of all this bleedin' joy and goodwill to each other" she shot Pizzazz a look, "you might've gone soft like these Sing A Long twits, but I'm always going to look out for number one" she tore open the package, "Why should Jem get all the -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" her sentence abruptly changed into a blood curdling shriek, "Get it off me! NOW! Oy get it off me!"

What was on Jetta, was a large live lobster.

"It has me dose" she screamed. The Holograms and Misfits shrieked from the sheer shock of the surprise.

"Ok ok, get a bucket of water" Shana forced herself to think rationally

"From where?" Kimber was like a chicken with her head cut off

"Down the hall, there's a faucet" Aja instructed

"But, we need a bucket" Kimber hesitated

"Just go!" Shana yelled

Kimber sprinted down the hall, found the faucet in an open hallway. She looked up to see Roxy and Stormer dragging a large container behind them

"The drawers!" Kimber realized. Stormer and Roxy were holding one of the translucent plastic drawers from the mirrored makeup table. Deep enough for water, it looked big enough to hold a considerable amount. Kimber quickly turned on the faucet and three girls pushed and pulled the container back to the dressing room, trying to keep as much water in the plastic box as possible

Shana had Jetta doubled over, ready for the next course of action. Shana bent Jetta over the water container while Raya tried to calm her down. As Jetta leaned over the plastic box full of water, the lobster's hind quarters dipped into the water. As the crustacean felt the water envelope itself, it slowly released Jetta's cartilage. Raya was there with tissues to stop the bleeding while Jem had gone to fetch a first aid kit.

Pizzazz was lying face down on the floor, having passed out at the sight of Jetta's ordeal.

Soon, Jetta's nose had been attended to, and after Pizzazz had used her phone to order a small aquarium, the lobster was nonchalantly sitting in the hastily delivered tank.

Jem squinted at the card that had come with the package, "It really is from Rio" she looked back at the others, "I honestly thought that this was something that Clash might have done"

"She'd do anything to be the fifth Misfit" Pizzazz clutched the smelling salts that she'd been given from the first aid kit

"Maybe you should let her" Stormer suggested, "It would be good to have another member in the band, round us out"

"You would think that" Pizzazz smirked

"Besides, Clash would never sink so low" Roxy admitted, "I mean, a lobster in a box, come on!"

"Well then, who did this?" Jem frowned

There was a knock at the door, "Jem, it's me" It was Rio. "Did you get my surprise?"

"What?" the nine women exclaimed in unison

Jem opened the door, "What sort of surprise?"

"I felt bad that I blew up and was so rude to everyone" he began, "I was sulking because you couldn't be here earlier" he shrugged, completely forgetting about Jerrica, "so I called up a guy who knows a guy and got him to send a lobster dinner for you all"

"A dinner?" Jem raised an eyebrow. She turned her gaze on the very much alive lobster, who was lazily walking along the floor of the filled small aquarium, "you mean that?" she thumbed towards the tank

"I- uh" Rio stared, slack-jawed and looked dumbfounded

"Sounds like you mistook the seller's explanation about what constitutes a dinner" she laughed. "Look, we can worry about that later on" Jem smiled, "We've got a concert to perform in a few minutes" she turned to the Holograms and the Misfits, "let's go!"


End file.
